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Why Most Restaurant Wine Lists Drive me Crazy…

Posted on April 10, 2024

Restaurant wine lists are often infuriatingly opaque, and – in my opinion – getting increasingly so over time. Too often they simply list a producer name, a wide, generic designation (Vin de France, anyone?), and a vintage. We are already losing a new generation of wine drinkers. These menus aren’t helping…

How would you react if you were handed a walked into a restaurant tomorrow and the menu read like this:

“Hare & leek, Smith Farm, Little Valley, 2024“

You would know that you were being offered a dish of rabbit and leeks. You would know the name of the farm they came from, and where that farm was located – though, this information would hold little relevance to most patrons. And, you would know that the food was fresh.

What you wouldn’t know is anything even vaguely useful in determining whether you would like this dish. What cooking techniques have been used? What seasonings will affect the flavours? How will the food be served?

It would be understandable if you felt a rising sense of irritation while waiting for the server to come over and enlighten you. After all, what is the point of being handed a menu if it doesn’t provide a means of choosing for oneself. Why bother?

Enter the wine list…

The Age-Old Love Affair between Restaurant and Wine

Countless articles, global statistics, and studies all show that wine consumption is in decline, especially among younger people. There are many reasons for this slump: perceived healthier living choices, cost concerns, attractive alternatives in craft beer, ciders, and cocktails, and so on.

To ensure a bright future for our proud, ancient tradition of winemaking, redoubled efforts are required to court new wine enthusiasts and keep those already cuckoo for Cabernet.

Restaurants are the ideal setting for such noble vinous pursuits. People are out enjoying a bit of a treat, trying dishes they wouldn’t cook at home. They are a ready and willing audience. Cue the gleaming stemware, the gentle pop of the cork, and the romantic terroir tales. A delicious wine, that pairs perfectly with the food, can make an evening out.

But how can diners find that special wine? Simple. They just need to either: a) have explicit knowledge of a vast number of regions, sub-regions, wine producers, vintages, and grape varieties, b) randomly choose, then pray that they won’t spend the evening vaguely annoyed to be spending $100 on a wine they dislike, or c) wait for a sommelier, if the restaurant has one, to come and bestow their wisdom.

Were Restaurant Wine Lists Always this Infuriating… or are they Getting Worse?

It is easy to shrug and say, “twas always thus, and always thus will be.” Restaurant wine lists are notorious for being intimidating and opaque. But in my opinion – somebody who spends their days living, breathing, (and drinking) wine – the problem is only getting worse.

I used to love studying restaurant wine lists. I could spend ages looking for bargains, seeking out regions I hadn’t tasted in a while, trying to spot older vintages that might be hitting their stride. Now, I spend that same amount of time desperately looking for a single recognizable feature that will help narrow down my options.

As I wrote in a frustrated rant on cryptic wine lists a couple of years ago:

“Ordering wine in a restaurant has become an experience fraught with potential disappointment. Not only are obscure sub-regions, or worse, vast generic appellations often given as the only indication of a wine’s origin, but even if the list offers greater detail, there is no guarantee that the wine in question will taste anything like what is (or once was) typical for said place”.

The wine-producing world is expanding, and it is up to me to expand my frame of references, sure. But if I feel this way as a wine professional, I can only imagine how daunting the restaurant wine list must be for the average wine drinker.

It is of little use for such customers to look for winery names they may be familiar with from wine shops or glossy magazines. Restaurants want to offer original choices; wines that aren’t seen on the high street. They also don’t want their patrons to compare prices.

I understand and applaud a sommelier’s desire to step away from the mainstream when crafting a restaurant wine list. Give people an experience. Broaden their horizons to include up-and-coming new wine producers, interesting wine regions, under-the-radar grapes…but do it in a way that rouses curiosity and gets people excited.

And, as a side note, offer some stylistic diversity! A whole list of high acid, lean, funky, savoury edged, bone dry wines is a bit dull no matter how many countries and producers they come from.

Describing Wines like Food

Food menus explain their dishes. They tell us that the rabbit was braised, and that it will be served in a rich gravy, with a side of poached leeks. These details allow us to imagine how the dish will taste. Why not convey the flavour profile of a wine in a similar way?

Riesling, Cave Spring, VQA Niagara Peninsula, 2021 (Canada): A light bodied, refreshing, lower alcohol (11%) white wine with vivid notes of citrus, apricot, and wet stone. Unoaked, with high, tangy acidity balanced by a subtle touch of fruity sweetness.

A description like this isn’t just a laundry list of aromas, as I have seen countless times. It gives the reader key information about the wine’s structure: that the wine is light, low in alcohol, high in acidity, unoaked, and subtly off dry. These are all elements that are essential to successful food pairing.

Of course, restaurant wine lists of this sort already exist. This is not a novel concept that I am proposing. However, their language is often overly obscure – more concerned with clever word play, or romanticizing terroir. Or they give way too much information. My example might lack a bit of poetry or wit, but at least it is clear.

Descriptive wine lists are also quite rare, perhaps because of the work involved. Presumably, though, a restaurant wine list author has tasted all their selections. Providing descriptions shouldn’t be all that difficult then – at least for a subset of by-the-glass offerings and by-the-bottle focus wines.

Why not just let sommeliers give these descriptions table-side? Because many restaurants don’t have a sommelier, or not one that works every night. And, because many people don’t want to interrupt their dinner conversation to have a lengthy chat about the wine selection. Also, some diners don’t feel comfortable bothering a busy sommelier for too long.

By giving restaurant patrons the ability to easily narrow down their options, the sommelier can then come along for a brief and pleasant chat, weighing in on the final wine choice and providing additional insights to ramp up their guests’ enthusiasm.

50 Ways to Liven up a Restaurant Wine List

Maybe descriptions aren’t the way to go for some restaurants. Perhaps all that is needed is a simple line of text that recommends the best food pairing for each wine. Or a brief, “drinks like…” comment to indicate other, similar wine styles.

There are so many ways to create a more exciting restaurant wine list. Just look at the entertaining and information-packed menus curated by Paul Grieco’s staff at the Terroir wine bars in New York. They may be a little more than a novice wine drinker can handle…but they definitely make you want to pull up a glass.

Life

MASTER OF WINE EXAM SUCCESS

Posted on September 5, 2019

I am delighted…

Those three words have been running through my head for months now. This is how the form letter that signals Master of Wine Exam success begins. A pass brings, “delighted”, and defeat is announced by, “unfortunately”.

There is a three month period between sitting the notoriously challenging Master of Wine (MW) exams and receiving results. Three months of wondering and worrying. The list of wines used for the blind tastings is published a week after the exams, leaving 12 weeks to fret over all missed wines, misjudged quality levels, erroneous vintages, etc.

For those that haven’t been following my progress, I started my MW studies back in 2015 pregnant with my now four year old pre-kindergartner. I successfully navigated stage one and managed to pass the theory aspect of the stage two exams on my first attempt in 2016 (read article). With baby number two due right around exam time, I decided to take 2017 off. In 2018, I took a second stab at passing the stage two practical (tasting) exams.

“Unfortunately, you haven’t succeeded this time”.

This crushing sentence followed a neat little table detailing my failing marks. Oh, how my heart sank. Oh, how I wallowed in self pity. It took me a good month to dust myself off and get back in the game. The fear of failing again, of disappointing my family and friends, was overwhelming. The financial burden was also considerable.

I also had to get over my ego. Friends and acquaintances not in the wine industry would often say to me, “Oh, are you still studying for that wine course?”. Which led me to offer long, rambling over-justifications about the difficulty of achieving Master of Wine exam success. It took me more than a few glazed over looks to realize that no one was judging me, other than myself.

In preparation for my third attempt at the Master of Wine practical exams, I decided to throw everything I had at it. I would train not only my palate, but also my mind and body. I went to see a hypnotherapist to improve my confidence levels. I saw a physiotherapist weekly to remedy a nerve issue which was slowing down my writing speed. I meditated regularly. And I blind tasted. Every day.

When June rolled around I felt ready. Walking into the exam centre each morning I felt just the right mix of nervous energy to propel me through the 12-wine blind tastings without any of those terrible dear-in-the-headlights moments I had felt in previous years. I came home in a state of cautious optimism which I tried my damnedest to maintain throughout the long summer.

And I am DELIGHTED to announce that this was my year! I can’t claim to have nailed every single wine but I did write detailed and, I suppose, sufficiently convincing arguments to have achieved an overall pass.

Words cannot describe the immense joy and huge sense of relief I felt waking up to those precious 9 letters on Monday morning. The outpouring of kind words and messages from family and friends was overwhelming. The celebration was epic.

So what’s next? I now have the pleasure of writing a 10 000 word research paper on a wine-related topic of my choosing. Only then will I have the ultimate thrill of being able to append the coveted letters “MW” to my name.

WHAT’S ALL THE FUSS ABOUT WINE ANYWAY?

Posted on July 3, 2017

Photo credit: Hermitage, Jasper Van Berkel

In today’s saturated global marketplace, we are spoilt for choice when it comes to alcoholic beverages. Beer, cider and spirits, like wine, all have their devout clientèle. In fact, in many places, wine sales pale in comparison to these giants. If intoxication is your main goal, they all ‘do the job’, often much more cheaply and quickly than wine. And each drink has its band of enthusiasts who prefer the taste of their chosen tipple.

So, why does fermented grape juice hold such an exalted position in the hearts and minds of enthusiasts the world over?

Let me count the ways…

Wine has a number of powerful assets that differentiate it firmly from other inebriants. Its perceived quality, authenticity and luxury, its uniqueness – with no two wines ever quite the same, the wealth of interesting new developments to appeal to the new information hungry, internet generation, wine’s image as a health conscience beverage. I could go on, but will spare you any further evidence of my propensity to ramble.

The Potent Allure of History & Rarity

The earliest evidence of cultivated vines date as far back as Georgia circa 6000 B.C. (click here for more information).

In ancient Egypt beer, made from Barley loaves, was the drink of the masses. Only the wealthy elite could afford to drink wine. This trend is seen through out history, with the poor drinking cider, mead and beer in Medieval England, while the nobles drank wine. Wine’s symbolic association with luxury, remains a persuasive sales incitement for the upper classes in many developing markets, like China, today.

Another facet of what drives consumers to value wine so highly is its perceived authenticity and rarity. The Schloss Johannisberg estate of the Rheingau was founded around 1100, while Louis Latour has been passed down from father to son in Burgundy since the 1700s. Owning a wine from a generations-old estate feels to many like holding a piece of history in one’s hand.

Regions like Burgundy, where many growers have as little as a few ares of different vineyard parcels, introduce a notion of scarcity for certain top wines. In a 2014 Sotheby’s Hong Kong auction, a parcel of 114 bottles of Romanée-Conti sold for a whopping 1.6M $.

While certain spirits can claim high retail prices, low production volumes and a long history of high quality, none have such a long and storied past.

The Vintage Mystique

Whereas the majority of beers, ciders and spirits strive to offer a consistent style and quality from one batch to the next, wine is the only beverage that has introduced the notion of bottlings by vintage. Variation in colour, aromas and flavours from one year to the next is not only accepted, but is indeed a major part of the fascination for many collectors. En primeur week in Bordeaux, where wine is pre-sold from barrel before release, is a major part of the global wine trade calendar, stirring buyers and media alike into a frenzy.

Every winemaker and wine lover will tell you stories of their greatest vintages…the 1977 Dow’s vintage port, the 1945 Château Latour and so on. Just ask any winery what a popular critic’s judgement of the region’s vintage can do. When the Wine Spectator ran a feature on the excellent quality of 2010 in the Southern Rhône Valley, purchase requests flooded into Domaine de Longue Toque in Gigondas.

The evolution in style, from one year to the next, keeps wine collectors hooked.

The Triumph of Terroir

Terroir…a term that intimidates and impresses novice wine lovers in equal measures. No wine expert has every successfully summed up the concept in simple, concise terms. And this is a major part of its appeal. No one dares to refute a claim that they don’t fully understand!

Wine connoisseurs world-wide grow starry-eyed detailing the aromatic qualities imprinted on a wine by a specific soil type, weather pattern, altitude, and so forth. They speak confidently of Rutherford dust, Coonawarra terra rossa, and the slate soils of the Mosel. The vertiginous slopes of the Côte Rôtie and the patchwork of individual Burgundian climats are familiar and well understood arguments for the superior quality of the region’s wines.

Many beer, cider and spirits brands also claim certain aspects of weather and soil as the secret to their flavour. There is no denying the powerful aromatic effect the peat-rich soils of Islay have on local whisky’s like Laphroaig. But what lacks, in comparison to wine, is a consolidated approach adhered to by the entire category. Check any winery’s website and they will undoubtably boast of unique soils or old vines or ideal climate…some factor of “specialness” attributed to the vineyards and site.

The Dizzying Diversity

Yet another point of differentiation for wine is the sheer number of different grape varieties and wine styles available. Estimates vary, but there are said to be over 10 000 different wine producing grapes. Styles vary from white, rosé and red to still, sparkling, late harvest, fortified, botrytis-affected and so on. The sheer wealth of choice, from grape, to style, to vintage, to terroir, makes wine an endlessly appealing, singular beverage category.

The Cult of the Wine Professional

With the rise of vineyard plantings in countries around the globe, a new generation of passionate, innovative winemakers has arisen. In my grandfather’s generation, outside of a handful of prestigious regions like Bordeaux or Champagne, the grape grower and winemaker were rarely viewed as more than peasant farmers. Nowadays, they are revered creatures, adorning glossy wine and lifestyle magazines.

These new champions are keen to share their love of all things wine with all who will listen. This plays nicely to the information hungry, internet savvy Millennial consumer. Blind allegiances to specific appellations, estates or wine shop recommendations are a thing of the past. Today’s young wine drinkers research. They want to know as much as possible about what they are buying. From vintage reports, to blending variations, to emerging vineyard areas, to new grape plantings, today’s wine trade has never had so much to say, and such an enthusiastic audience.

The rise of sommeliers and chefs as gatekeepers to fashion in alcohol sales is also a boon for wine. Whereas beer and cider are traditionally categorized as pre-dinner or bar drinks, and many spirits proferred as digestifs, wine is considered the perfect mate for the main event…the meal. This gives wine a strong advantage, making it as much an everyday, rather than occasional, refreshment.

Given the aforementioned stylistic array of wines available, there are food pairing options for every type of cuisine from aromatic whites for Asian dishes to big Napa Cabs for steak.

And the Trump Card…Health!

Famous French scientist, Louis Pasteur, declared wine to be the healthiest, most hygienic of beverages. He advocated wine over water in a time where contaminated water sources led to many disease epidemics. More recently, the concept of the French Paradox, the antioxidant effects of the polyphenol Resveratrol, has revived the connection between wine and good health.

Studies abound that show a correlation between moderate wine drinking and decreased levels of heat disease, stroke, diabetes, and so forth. In a recent Wine Intelligence survey of Chinese wine consumers, the purported health benefits of wine are given as a major reason consumers are switching from whiskey and beer to wine.

At 8 – 14% alcohol, as compared to 35 – 50% for most Vodkas, wine is considered a lower alcohol alternative. This is a strong sales argument in cultures like the UK where binge drinking is an ongoing problem. Beer and cider can also lay claim to the argument of lower alcohol levels, but generally carry more calories for equivalent alcohol by volume.

In Summary

While competition is fierce amongst alcoholic beverages, wine has a number of compelling features that allow it to stand out from the crowd. Wine carries powerful affiliations with notions of luxury, rarity and authenticity. It is unique in its concepts of vintage and terroir variation. The multitude of different grape varieties and styles further set wine apart. And the rise of the winemaker and the sommelier as trendsetters also play their part. Lastly, wine is the most popular alcoholic choice for health conscience consumers.

Beer may quench my thirst on a hot summer’s day, and cocktails are a fun choice for ladies night out, but wine will always have my heart.

Life

A MOST CURIOUS JOURNEY

Posted on February 3, 2017

history of wine future of wine winetrade

Photo credit: www.classicandperformancecar.com

My grandfather Frank Egan was a wine merchant in London many years ago. It was a gentler time, so my mother would have me believe. A time where the answering of letters, dictating of future correspondence and tasting of wines would take place in the morning, thus leaving gentlemen free to enjoy a long lunch and retire to their clubs for the afternoon. Regular “breakage” would keep the house well stocked in vintage Champagne, which served nicely as a little apéritif to enjoy in the bath before supper.

The only wine regions that really mattered could be rattled off in short order: Burgundy, Bordeaux, Champagne, the Mosel Valley, Porto and Sherry. This narrow focus allowed educated tasters to become highly proficient in the myriad lieux-dits, individual producers and specific vintage traits of each area. Wines were assigned a personality rather than described with a laundry list of aromas. Frank liked to compare his wines to women or racehorses. To him, this visual imagery aptly conveyed the rounded, voluptuous charm of a warm vintage Vosne-Romanée or the taut, powerful muscle of a young Pauillac.

When visiting his growers, Frank would make two appointments a day, thus allowing for lunch with one and dinner with the other. He was driven by chauffeur so as to properly honour the excellent wines of his gracious hosts. Day time attire consisted of pin striped suits and a bowler hat when in the city, and evening events invariably called for black tie.

In today’s fast paced, global wine industry such a leisurely rhythm seems unfathomable. But what would Frank make of us were he suddenly catapulted sixty-odd years into the future?

Though I only knew him through stories and photos, I can imagine him sitting in some trendy wine bar, staring agape at the tattooed, beardy sommelier, repeating the words ‘Nerello Mascalese?’ with a puzzled air. I can just see him wandering the aisles of a big box store marvelling at the quantity of ‘SKUs’, at the labelling by grape variety, and the vast number of wine producing regions. Fine wines in screw cap? From New Zealand?

The frenetic pace of wine retailing in this social media age would surely baffle him. And he might feel as though he had stepped into the pages of a sensationalist science fiction pulp, observing the use of GPS, sensors, probes and drones in the vineyards.

However, in terms of small-scale, fine winemaking, he would likely find himself back on familiar ground; much more so than if his time travelling Rover had dropped him in nineteen eighty. For the pendulum swung from tradition to innovation to such a violent degree with the embracing of mechanization, chemical weed and pesticide controls and so forth, that we are now seeing the inevitable counter movement.

Conscientious, quality-minded growers are increasingly organic (or in the process of conversion). They focus on canopy management techniques and decreasing irrigation frequency. In the cellar, spontaneous fermentation with indigenous yeasts, partial or whole cluster fermentation, and the absence of fining or filtration are all the rage for many a premium, artisanal winemaker. Were Frank to hear an estate manager proudly detail these exacting methods, he may scratch his head. He would likely think to himself, well yes, those are fairly standard procedures, what’s this chap so excited about?

If he were to taste the sought-after wines of today, fashioned in the post-Parker age of restraint, purity and freshness, he may not even find that his beloved Burgundies taste all that different. They are certainly a little riper and fleshier, potentially with silkier tannins, but recognizable all the same.

After the excitement of his incredible journey, it would be understandable if Frank hurried back to nineteen fifty to settle his nerves with a wee dram with his cronies. Yet perhaps I underestimate my progenitor… He may have been the kind of intrepid fellow that, once launched on the path of adventure, could not resist his curiosity. Turning the Rover’s dials to twenty eighty, what might he discover?

Touching down in Bordeaux mid-summer, he might feel the need to take off his blazer, and even roll up his sleeves. According to climate change focused researchers at the Institut de la science de la vigne et du vin, Bordeaux weather may more closely resemble that of coastal Portugal in as little as twenty to thirty years. Examining the back label of a fine claret, he might find the late ripening Tinto Cao grape listed along side Cabernet and Merlot.

Will Champagne make only red wines, and the finest bubblies hail from England and Tasmania? Will Frank find Napa and Barossa Valley vineyards all but abandoned? With the sheer size and massive ambition of China, the twenty eighty equivalent to supermarket shelves could well be dominated by the descendants of Great Wall and Changyu.

Perhaps he will stumble upon a post-apocalyptic scenario with massive swathes of vineyards lost to virulent parasite epidemics. By then, the disease resistant, cold hearty Regent hybrid and others of its ilk could conceivably be household names.

Alas, it is time to bring this time travel reverie to a close. Frank Egan must meekly step back into the black and white photos I cherish, nosing a selection of vintage Port. Though day dreams of him pushing on, increasingly poleward and higher in altitude, in search of the finest crus, will linger in my thoughts and drive me forward.